Law Office of
Sandra N. Brostoff

Attorney & Counselor-at-Law

Helping You Help Yourself

Sandra Brostoff, divorce attorney

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Family Law

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"I want to let you know how much I appreciate all the help and concern you provided in writing my will. You executed my "wants" in an astute and knowledgeable manner." "J"

Comments from the Honorable Judge* Paul Garfinkel Prior To A Custody Trial were shared on the ABA list serve—and I am sharing excerpts with you, especially parents seeking divorce, separation or paternity actions. Read, consider and hopefully implement for your children's sake and for yours.

"I want to make a few comments to you about how important it is to your family to resolve this case….

… They (your attorneys) have to prove which is the better parent, but there is no way of showing me exactly how you parent…I want …your attorney's show you to be a caring and loving parents, and I am sure they will try.

….(However), the negatives will seem to make you look like the worst person that ever lived….

At the end of trial any goodwill each of you had for the other---will be totally destroyed.

It is both of you who must be the parents of these children until either you or they die….It is both of you who must raise these children….

(The children) would say, "I wish they would just stop fighting." No doubt they love you so much they are blaming themselves for your original breakup. It is time you get past the anger and put aside the hurt. You may even have to forgive. The pain that has been caused here arises from the conflict between each of you and has nothing to do with the children. Your children want this conflict to end. You have the chance to leave here today with an agreement that you must reach together. You must be willing to put aside your differences and be willing to accommodate each other's needs. But most importantly, you must be ready now to put the needs of your children first.

I know that your children want you to settle this case. You can do the right thing and start now. Put aside what happened in the past.

This is the judgment day for your children. It's not about you. And think about the additional damage you are going to cause to the children.

I can tell you right now it has happened and it happens every time. Put aside your own egos and swallow them. Leave it in the courtroom. You don't see them, but I do because I see parents who are willing to put their children's welfare above their own ego. And they leave it right here and they know and understand what is best for the children."

*9th Judicial Circuit Family Court, Charleston County, South Carolina. Words in parenthesis are those of Attorney Brostoff.

Law Office of
Sandra N. Brostoff

located at:

555 Skokie Blvd.
Suite 500
Northbrook, IL 60062
Phone: 847-291-1807

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Serving Cook, DuPage and Lake Counties. Consultations available by appointment

Contact Law Office of Sandra N. Brostoff by telephone at 847-291-1807 to speak with Sandra N. Brostoff personally.